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#18: The Trolley

The Trolley: (Car)Pool Party!

-All vehicles are designed with complementary colors

-Luxury seating

-Maximum capacity: none

-Jolly Trolley: RIP

-360 degree cabin view

-Poles dispersed throughout: purpose unknown

-Post chapel boarding--more hectic than standing in line for Black Friday with your Mom

-West to East campus includes Annex tour

-Not included in Scraps Initiative

-Always on time?

-Easily forced conversations due to lack of evacuation capabilities

-Radio selection limited to AM 740 "KTRH: More stimulating talk radio." or 94.7 "KTWV: The Wave"

-Babe scoping

-Carry on any nutritious meal to make it "Fast Food"

-Horse power does not apply to the trolley. It's called Cougar Power, baby.

-APU is so private, they don't want you to even walk outside of the campus

-Quick paced walking in the direction of the departing trolley results in on board passenger amusement

-World's first non-rail rail car

-Highly varnished seating leads to SCC's (Sharp Corner Clinching)

-No student has ever been spotted in the "open air seating" on the back left outside of the trolleys

-Now equipped with security cameras, churro machines, Anti-Biola propaganda, and a pizza party

-It's like a giant car with no seat belts. Fun and safe!

#17: Campus Safety

Campus Safety: Bringin' the Heat Since 1899

-To serve and protect a smile

-Rigorous training required to obtain officer status

-Why be a student when you can keep your brethren secure?

-Top priorities of Campus Safety:

--Parking tickets

--All hands on deck for fire alarms

--Lock outs

--Driving the egg car around campus

--Keeping a crisp crease in their uniform

--Staying in top physical condition

-Disclaimer: Undercover officers lurk

-Intimidation is their main weapon

-Former officers include: Indiana Jones, Goliath, Stephen Lambert,

Luke Skywalker, Brice Meyers and Hugh Jackman

-59% of your spent Cougar Bucks fund the force

-"Who needs bullets? I have pepper in spray form."

#16: Being The Fastest Around Campus

Being The Fastest Around Campus: The Need for Speed

-BTFAC

-Asserting one's place on the APU's totem pole via means of campus travel

-Burning calories and speed: two birds with one stone

-Longboarding regardless of weak equilibrium

-Methods may or may not include the following: walking, skateboarding, cycling, sprinting, wheel barrel races, soaps, chariots, moon shoes, razor scooters, rockets, Mario's cape feather, horseback, bed races

-Knowing all secret shortcuts on campus

-Knowing every crack en route to avoid gnar face grind ups.

-Regardless that the fine for J-Walking is $108.00 according to section 21955 of the vehicle code, it's quicker than crosswalks. Worth the risk

-Girls like fast men

-Only stop to chat if it's 911 worthy

-Means of travel lesser known:

-Call in a ride from campus safety

-Drive from East to West (see #6)

-Fake sick so you don't have to walk to class.

-Travel from the MODS to Marshburn utilizing The Skate Line

#15: Frozen Yogurt

Frozen Yogurt: A Very Cold Breakfast Item

-Is it liquid or a solid? Trick question: Neither!

-A "healthy" alternative to ice cream

-Fat Free, but it's totally phat and it's not free

-Invented in Siberia

-Yogurt establishment pride

-5 popularity points to those whose pictures hang in Tutti Frutti

-Used as currency by weight before Cougar Bucks

-Eat froyo and contribute to a charity!

-Supposedly found in the Caf

-21 Choices edible spoons: a dessert for a dessert

-Rumored to be the best excuse not to study

-The hottest way to cool down

-"Chill out, man"-Pizza

"I am, bro." -Froyo

#14: Facial Hair

Facial Hair: Sweaters for Your Face

-Go green and grow

-Climate control for your face

-Instantly cool and cultured

-Winter warmth

-Troy Schemper's attempt annually in the month of March

-Prime real estate for Den burger left overs

-When the beard is gone, so is the magic

-Attractive to the lassies

-Given Biblical nicknames like Jesus or Moses

-Throw in plaid and be a lumberjack

-Conserve morning time

-Searching "mustache" in Google Images for facial goals

-Beard faux pas: the Neard. (The neck + beard)

#13: The Waving Booth

The Waving Booth: APU's First Impression

-Friendliness epicenter

-"High 5!"

-A major cause of traffic congestion due to "visitors"

-THE most wanted job

-Rumored to have full surround sound and a churro machine

-APUs only bomb shelter

-Room Capacity 1 (thousand!)

-Job Requirements: a single upper working appendage, a full set of teeth (preferably freshly whitened), and loads of homework to accomplish

-Bullet proof glass yet to be field tested

-The ultimate self-esteem boost

#12: Getting a Yellow Slip in the Mailbox

Getting a Yellow Slip in the Mailbox:

Thank you Santa Clause!

-Yet to be antibacterial

-Bigger the better

-Said to be yellow to provoke excitement

-That walk from your box to the window is like descending from a climb on Mt. Everest

-Seems to be a line at all times at the window

-You know the package is worthwhile when the postal men carry the shipment

-Better than eating the faux chocolate milk at the end of a Coco Dino Bites cereal bowl

#11: Kaleo

Kaleo: It's like chapel, but at nighttime

-Must arrive a half hour early for quality seating

-Front row stage right reserved for Kaleo VIP

-Low lighting conditions result in illegible chapel cards

-Business up front, party in the back

-Be sure to have empty hands for the the post-Kaleo flyer bombardment

-Due to last weeks cookie nourishment, attendance is forecasted to be larger

-"Can I borrow a pen?" "I was going to ask you the same thing..."

-Upperclassmen reminisce about the days of 911 chapel

-Dress to impress

-Box seating available behind the stage

-Maximum capacity to be determined.

-Shoes are optional

-Cell phone triangulation needed to find seating party

-If the music was at a notch, it would be at the top

#10: Jon Wallace

Jon Wallace: Superhuman?

-The President of Azusa Pacific University

-He's better than you

-He can hold his breath for 25 minutes straight

-Numerous sightings around the Congo

-Scientists still doubt his existence

-0 to 60 in 4.2 seconds

-Climbing to the A? He'll beat you there

-Room dedicated to him in the caf

-Has yet to lose at an indian leg wrestling match

-He has more friends than you on Facebook

-Professional high fiver

-Out ran a horse

-Some say West campus was chiseled from his brawn

#9: TOMS

TOMS: Hip, Cool and Comfy

-Shippers: Shoes+slippers

-Customizable

-Kudos to Kirstina Bolton

-Shoes for those in need and trendy? Win/Win

-Am I walking on a cloud? No, just wearing TOMS

-Bought a pair of TOMS? Welcome to the APU family

-Don't even try walking on that cement in front of Heritage when it's wet. No traction baby

-Prime babe magnet

-"But they're cool, Dad!"

-Now shipping with miniature TOMS flags. Score

-Disclaimer: TOMS are not prime footwear for playing a game of skate

#8: The Cougar Walk Café

The Cougar Walk: The Scene to be Seen

-AKA "The Walk"
-Prime babe scopin'

-The best eatery on campus

-Encourages slang like "reans" or "burraco"

-Overwhelming depression comes from unexpected closure

-Donde esta el Tapatio?

-Tall table hierarchy

-What makes it a café?

-Daily shout outs to the tour guides

-Caution: hazardous to skaters

-Red sauce or green sauce?
-You know people based on where they sit on The Walk

-The Walk is like your hot girlfriend--always leaving you yearning for more

-24-hour quesadillas, please

-Wait, they serve hot dogs and salads too? Those aren't Mexican..

-Hot employees

-We reserve the right to refuse any Den dweller

-Weekly J-Dub spottings

#7: Colorado

Colorado: So Good You Had to Leave

-Your profile picture has the flag in the background

-You've said, "You don't even know what cold is."

-Living in California for four years but still not changing your license plate

-You actually enjoy rain

-You have a Colorado flag hanging in your dorm room or apartment

-You conveniently left all your winter attire back in Colorado

-Every time you pass by the flag hanging up in the Trinity RA office you yell, "GO CO!"

-Whatever California is, Colorado is it but better (except the beaches, weather, girls and economy...)

-Feeling like the cool kids for not being the minority at the out of state mixer

#6: Driving from East to West

Driving from East to West:

"You walked? Gross."

-Why not? Your parents did buy your car and gas

-Using the excuse, "I'll be late to class if I don't." or "I have errands to run after class."

-Not caring that it takes less time to walk than drive

-Using Citrus as a shortcut through the traffic

-Getting stuck behind the trolley is stressful

-Racing the trolley and winning makes your day

-Getting excessively angry at pedestrians

-Laughing at walking students as you drive by

-Because you don't want to be sweaty for class

#5: Facebook

Facebook: A University Pastime

-Jon Wallace is your friend, but he didn't request you

-I still haven't met you, but you're my friend on Facebook

-Stalking. Enough said

-Publicly displayed events makes your life look more interesting than it actually is

-Leaving videos on your friends walls during class

-You reply "maybe" to events to seem like you have something better to do

-A great political advertisement platform

-Making your relationship "Facebook official" is a during point in the relationship

-Having song lyrics in your status

-Letting the world know how excited you are about stuff. example: "Sarah is so excited that it's lunchtime." or "Brett is :)"

-Mutual friends? Add them

-You meet someone and you already know their birthday, phone number, favorite movies, relationship status and hometown

-When you don't use your status correctly. Example: "Carrie SPRING BREAK!" or "Sam is is having a good day"

-Being in a cause makes you feel like you're helping the world

-Because Myspace was SO highschool

-You're friends with your friends parents but not your own

-Someone must love you, you got a free gift

-Someone must REALLY love you, you got a gift that cost 99 cents

-Facebook thinks you're a computer because you've sent so many bumper stickers

-Pirate or ninja? You decide

-You had to change your name is McLovin because 100,000 people joined your group

-Making your hometown the trendy college town you're in

-You were offended that your friend tagged you as "the pimp" or the "good little church girl."

-You have a picture with the title "tag yourself"

-25 things

-Human interaction cop-out

-Having an album dedicated to Photobooth

-Your default is a self portrait taken in the mirror

-Jesus is your friend on Facebook

-You feel more popular

-You feel more insecure

-Having a quote in the quote section that you said

-A way to keep in touch with your highschool friends without actually having to keep in touch

-Knowing who from highschool is pregnant, fat, or drunk

-An excuse to judge people

-Nothing to do? Facebook.

-Something to do? Facebook

-"Social studies"

-Promoting your blog

-FACEBOOK CHAT

-Someone chats you you don't want to talk to you, you sign off and blame it on the bad APU internet

-Reading other people's wall-to-wall's

-Hot babes are great advertisements

-Coming home and searching for that girl you saw on the walk

-Using your friends Facebook to look at someone you're not friends with

-Knowing stuff about your siblings you didn't want to know

-You've said, "TAG ME!" after someone took a picture

-Actual interaction is over rated

-Constantly asking yourself, "is this who I am?" via profile page

-You are part of a thread

-Your day got better, you were tagged in a note

-You have your word document strategically placed in class so you can take notes and still see you if you got a new notification

-Displaying personal beliefs through the notes application

-Having an original and unique answer for "religion" and "political views."

-Saying you're born in 1932

-Making your hometown a foreign country. Original.

-You considered giving Facebook up for lent. You then reconsidered

-You have untagged yourself in a picture.

-Using "friends" for freebies

-Poking wars!

-Are you a college freshmen? Facebook videos!

-You have denied that stalker more than once

-You have been denied more than once.

-You have kept your friend in friend request purgatory

-Having stuffAPUlikes.blogspot.com in your status.

#4: Hottie Nicknames

Hottie Nicknames: His Name is Nick, But That's Not the Name You Gave Him...

-Referencing people on the walk as "Beany Boy," "Mysterious Man" or "Plaid Blonde."

-Trying to make out with someone without knowing their real name

-Easy reference

-Able to talk in code

-They are perfect to you because you have no idea who they are

-Supplies conversational content to any Cougar Walk meal

-It's shallow, and it's fun

#3: Hating the Caf

The Caf: "It was the only thing that was open."

-Your health teacher comparing placenta to last night's meal

-It's never quite that good

-Caf NAZI (enough said)

-They're always out of the milk you want

-The eatery is always wet

-Stealing utensils and fruit to feel like you got your money's worth

-Would you like a side of food with your salt and grease?

-More aesthetically pleasing, but still leaves you empty

-The caf is like your first time--you got what you needed but not what you wanted.

#2: V-Necks

V-Necks: A Must for Your Bust

-Trinity's signature style

-Now offered in the APU bookstore

-A wardrobe must for any college freshman

-Too scandalous for Biola. Why not?

-How deep is too deep?

-Downside: your Father now doubts your sexuality

-Daily twin run-ins

-What color don't you have?

-Now, you and your girlfriend/boyfriend can share clothes.

#1: Bryan Clay

Bryan Clay: The Fifth Cornerstone of APU.

-Cougar Pride

-Always pointing out the billboard on the 210. R.I.P.

-BC spotting on the track

-Bragging to your friends that you got to touch his medal at the football game

-Listening to the wise words of Terry Franson when he said, "You can be a Bryan Clay."

-Lusting after his sponsorships

-Adding BC on Twitter

-Putting BC in your hero's section on Facebook

-Collecting Bryan Clay memorabilia

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